Facing reality is one of the many un-fun things about adulthood. When you’re a single mom, reality just may seem too overwhelming sometimes.
Closing Your Eyes Won’t Make It Disappear
Oh, honey. I wish it were that easy!
Just like a little kid, I wish that if we squeezed our eyes shut, we could say “I can’t see you, so you can’t see me!”
Even hiding under the bed covers, or shoving unpaid bills or unopened notices into drawers doesn’t work. Neither does not answering the phone when you know it’s a bill collector.
Am I speaking from experience? Maybe…
Yes, being the adult in the house is hard. Your kids think it’s an endless party of getting to do whatever you want. Sure, all the choices are fun, the bank hands out free money, and the house cleans itself!
Unfortunately, struggle will always be a part of life.
Mistakes will always be made. You will always have regrets.
There will always be paths you didn’t take, things you didn’t do or say, and money you spent on the wrong things.
Accept Your Current Situation
I suppose we will just have to woman up and accept our current situation. Let’s use finances as an example to start.
First, what is your current situation? If you don’t know what it is, you can’t make it better. If calculating all of your overdue bills is too much right now, just start by gathering the unopened envelopes that you’ve been shoving into various drawers and putting them into one place.
Your next step will be to open one or two at a time and write down how much you owe, who you owe it to, and when it’s due. Continue until all the bills are opened, even if it takes a few days.
The step after that will be to make ONE payment, whether that’s the smallest payment or the payment with the biggest interest rate or the most urgent payment.
If you can’t afford a whole payment on anything, your next best step will be to contact the most urgent (or persistent!) bill company.
If any of these steps make you nervous, do some deep breathing. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale…
Remember that the most important factor in all of this is you and your kids.
The large corporation that you owe money to may or may not be judging you (probably not), but that doesn’t matter. If you owe money to a smaller business, their opinion may matter more, but they also may be more willing to work with you, since they probably will view you more as an actual human with an actual life to live.
So force those eyes open, adult girl! (AKA, woman…)
One step at a time.
One area of your life at a time.
One day at a time.
Amy is the writer behind A Lady and Four Gents. She is a self-employed single mom to four boys, including twins. Amy traded her full-time career and outrageous commute for more time with her kids. She hopes to inspire and equip other single moms to build confidence, pursue personal independence, and design the life they long for.